One of the aspects I had to reconcile was my religion. Being LDS and bisexual doesn't just go hand in hand right off the bat. How could I be a faithful member of the LDS church and be bisexual? This was the big question I had to come to terms with and answer for myself.
The answers for me started years ago back when I was in high school. It was back then that I thought I had problems with the church. There were things that I couldn't stand about what I viewed as the church. I started looking to other churches to see about joining another one. As I did this I kept having problems with the other churches. I kept finding things that they taught that I just flat out did not agree with and did not believe. I kept finding that there were a set of beliefs that I had that I could not ignore. Just after high school it finally hit me that I believed in the gospel of Jesus Christ but it was the people that I had issues with. That was when I changed my thinking. I was not going to let the people that I disagreed with and had problems with their thinking get in the way of my beliefs and my salvation.
This was the start of my changing thoughts. Over the years I found that my beliefs and those around me in the church diverged a bit. By no means am I saying that I stopped believing what the church teaches but that I saw what some people thought were doctrine but were more cultural as opposed to actual teachings.
In this process I realized that, to me, there are two parts to the church. There is the core beliefs and doctrine that never changes and is the base of the gospel. Then there is the other part that is changing, shifting, cultural, and fluid. The core part is what I believe. It is the same from the Old Testament to the New Testament to the Book of Mormon to the Doctrine & Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. They are still taught by the prophets in our day. This is what Christ taught. The other part of the church is what changes with the times. It is influenced by the world around us. That doesn't mean that it isn't from God but I feel it has more influence by people.
The core is where I gain my strength. This is where the basics are found- faith, hope, charity, love, chastity & service. The ordinances & such are found here: baptism, priesthood, temple ordinances, etc. In this space is where the "primary" answers are found- go to church, say your prayers, go to the temple, serve others, read your scriptures. This is the basics that I feel many people overlook because they are basic. I feel as I focus on these my beliefs are strengthened and I grow more.
The other stuff, while I feel is important, it is not what my testimony is based on. This stuff changes as times change. In Old Testament times eating pork wasn't allowed but now we can. In modern times polygamy was set in practice then it was abandoned. Blacks were not allowed to hold the priesthood and then that changed. There is stuff in that realm that is cultural. Not watching "R" rated movies. Not every country has the same rating system. Not drinking caffeine. Some say that is the reason behind the no coffee or tea and therefore we should not drink Pepsi or Coke. But there has been no official ban on Pepsi or Coke. If there was I think half the members here in Utah or more would leave the church or be in bad standings. Some of this realm is influenced by other factors, such as BYU. Some believe to be a good male member you have to have your hair clean cut, but that us just a BYU rule, not doctrine.
For me I have not found anywhere in the core teachings of the gospel that preaches against homosexuality. While it does talk about sexual sin outside of marriage it doesn't discuss same sex attraction. The church may or it may not at some point recognize same sex marriages. However I do not ever think they will allow same sex sealings in the temples. Right or wrong that is what my thoughts are. But I'm not the one in charge so I don't think my thoughts have much of a pull on the church as a whole.
As I shifted my focus on the core that is what has helped me to reconcile my beliefs with who I am. To me the core is unchanging but the outlying stuff can be open for personal interpretation. The Lord has given us the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide us in our lives. As we stay worthy we can receive that guidance to know when something may be different for us as an individual. We are taught that we should pray to find our path in life. As I have prayed I have received that guidance to know where I should go. I have also had the confirmation that it is ok that I am bisexual. It is ok that I have feelings towards men. I just have to keep those feelings in check just as I do with women. But there is nothing wrong with me. I am loved for who I am by my Heavenly Father who made me this way. These feelings are the same ones that I have received over the years that lead me on the Lord's path. They are the ones that gave me my testimony. They are the ones that brought me everything I have gotten from the Lord. These feelings and my experiences combined with the fruits that I have received from this and my beliefs of what I know to be true have lead me to where I am now. I am a worthy, active bisexual member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. And I don't plan on changing a thing about that.
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