So several of my posts have been about my struggles and the challenges that I face. Today I wanted to post something that has a different tone. One of gratitude, faith, hope, belief and love.
Today was Testimony meeting at church. (For those that don't know, that is when members from the congregation go up to the pulpit and share their beliefs in a testimony.) I always enjoy these meetings in singles wards. They are filled with the spirit. Today was no exception. As I sat there I was so grateful for my knowledge and my beliefs. I know that this is the gospel of Jesus Christ. I also know that this is where I'm meant to be. My life may take its twists and turns, but staying rooted in the gospel is where I want to be.
As people shared their testimonies bits stuck out to me in almost all of them. I was reminded of my ancestors. I come from many lines of great, strong, noble people. I have the blood of fighters, survivors, peacemakers, game-changers, revolutionists and trailblazers. They have accomplished many things over the course of history. Some in the history books and are well known, others known simply to the circle of people they knew in this life. But their blood courses through my veins. Their legacy lives on in me. As I live my life, share my experiences, reach out and love those around me I can make them proud of what I am doing with the life and the legacy I carry on for them.
I was also grateful for answered prayers. I have been struggling with many things and changes in my life lately. I have been praying about many of these things. Today I got some answers. The Lord gives us the answers to our prayers when we need them. Notice I said NEED them and not WANT them. One of the things that I have been trying to decide if I should do it or not is to come out completely. This is a huge things that I have been struggling back and forth with for months now. Someone in their testimony said that motivation by fear is from Satan. It is to act with motivation through faith that we can do God's will. As I have been debating whether or not to do this I realized that I had been given my answer. Well it was more like, "I already told you what I want. Why keep praying when you have your answer? Now will you just do what I asked already?" I realized that I had been given my answer months ago and that it has been my fear holding me back from acting upon it. I even know how I will do it. I am going to stay true to who I am and make a movie. (That is one thing about me is that I am a filmmaker. I don't do it professionally, but it is my primary creative medium.) I will make a documentary of my dealings, learnings, changes, what has stayed the same, answer questions and show my story, perspective and life experiences. While I write this blog (and I know my writing isn't bad) my true passion and where I really shine is with a camera. So I will stay true to who I am, even with this.
I was also impressed today with the reminder that Thomas S. Monson is the prophet. Over the years that he has been serving as the prophet and president of the church I have had several experiences that have shaped my testimony of him and his calling. I am grateful for him and all that he does leading this church.
It is these beliefs and many others that make up my testimony. These experiences and others are things that I cannot deny and cast aside. That is why I choose to remain active in this church. That is why I make the choices that I do. Not because of others, but because I choose it. This is my life and I want the path that I choose. And I choose this path. I know that these things are true. This is my testimony that I share with all of you today, in Jesus Christ's name.
Much love,
Lonely Boy
